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MAKE AMERICA SANE AGAIN

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The Original Chill Pill for the Chronically Triggered.

gag gifts, stocking stuffers
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2 oz (29 pills) $15.95
4 oz (58 pills) $19.95

MAGAnesium™ is a federally registered rademark. Unauthorized use will be pursued to the fullest extent of the law.

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Order now for Christmas delivery. Supplies are limited!

* not covered by Obamacare

"The larger bottle is perfect for my Trump-supporting husband — he hands out Chill Pills at the office and around the holiday table like party favors. It's done wonders for family harmony."
— Harold M., Des Moines (Fictional / Satire)
"I’ve voted blue my whole life, but after one Chill Pill from a coworker, I started sleeping better, laughing more, and even watching debates without yelling. My husband says he got his wife back."
— Margie L., Portland (Fictional / Satire)
"Perfect little stocking stuffers for my overly dramatic liberal children — finally, a gift that brings peace on earth and at the dinner table."
— Frank D., Phoenix (Fictional / Satire)
Directions

Take one Chill Pill daily or as needed. For extended relief, reduce exposure to CNN, MSNBC, and other fake news sources.

MAGAnesium™ is a federally registered trademark.
Unauthorized use will be pursued to the fullest extent of
the law.

Choose Your Chill

Regular for daily sanity and the perfect stocking stuffer — or go Large to spread calm at the office, with friends, or around the holiday table.

Made in the USA, shipped from Dallas.

MAGAnesium®

$19.95 USD

MAGAnesium®

Large: 4 oz (120g) – 58 Chill Pills
$19.95 USD

The original chill pill for the chronically triggered. For those suffering from Trump Derangement System™. Just what the doctor ordered!

We'll text you tracking info.

MAGAnesium®

$15.95 USD

MAGAnesium®

Regular: 2 oz (85g) – 29 Chill Pills
$15.95 USD

The original chill pill for the chronically triggered. For those suffering from Trump Derangement System™. Just what the doctor ordered!

We'll text you tracking info.
⚡

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Label Information

Everything you need to know about your Chill Pill

Directions

Take one Chill Pill daily or as needed. For extended relief, reduce exposure to CNN, MSNBC, and other fake news sources.

Ingredients

Sugar, corn syrup, modified food starch, citric acid, malic acid, fumaric acid, sodium citrate, natural and artificial flavors, acacia (gum arabic), dextrin, confectioner’s glaze (shellac), carnauba wax, beeswax, mineral oil, sunflower or soy lecithin, and FDA-approved color additives (including Red 40, Red 3, Yellow 6, Blue 1, Blue 2, turmeric).

Warning

May cause saneness and openness to reality and the truth. Should craziness persist, seek a professional psychiatrist, counselor, or qualified adult supervisor.

Frequently asked questions

The only prescription for political whiplash.

What has Donald Trump really done? (non-fictional/non satirical)

Second Term (January 20, 2025 – November 3, 2025)

  • October 30, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (China Rare Earths Adjustment): Lowered China tariffs post-Xi meeting; suspended rare earth export restrictions for 1 year in exchange for U.S. farm purchases ($ billions in soybeans/sorghum) and fentanyl commitments; Phase Two progress on IP/fentanyl; total 2025 revenue $90B+.
  • October 29, 2025 – Investment Deal (Australia Critical Minerals): Signed rare-earths supply chain deal with Australia (~$50B+ over 5 years); diversifies from China; supports clean energy/military tech jobs.
  • October 28, 2025 – Investment Deal (Kimberly-Clark $2B Expansion): Announced $2B for U.S. manufacturing (new Ohio facility, South Carolina upgrades); part of $7.6T total pledges; tariff incentives credited.
  • October 26, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped & Investment/Tariffs (Kuala Lumpur Peace Accords): Brokered Thailand-Cambodia peace (ended border war, released 18 soldiers); linked to reciprocal trade deals with Malaysia/Cambodia (billions in U.S. investments); frameworks with Thailand/Vietnam; enhanced U.S.-Malaysia ties ($ billions economic benefits); total Asia trip: $1T+ pledges (energy, AI, shipbuilding, defense).
  • October 26, 2025 – Investment Deal (Asia Trip Total $1T+): Secured Japan ($550B: reactors, AI, turbines, shipbuilding); South Korea ($50B Boeing/engines, $16B shipyards, $3B grid, rare earths); Malaysia (critical minerals); part of "Trump Effect" revitalizing industry.
  • October 23, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Gaza Ceasefire Stability): Confirmed Israel-Hamas ceasefire holding; Gaza rebuild center opened; ongoing hostage returns; part of broader Middle East stability (Abraham Accords extension).
  • October 21, 2025 – Investment Deal (Richard Nixon Peace Award): Honored for global peace advances (Middle East, Ukraine); ties to diplomatic wins like Gaza/Ukraine talks.
  • October 17, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Gaza Peace Plan Praise): Global acclaim for 20-Point Gaza Plan (ceasefire, hostage return, Hamas dismantling, transitional governance); "everlasting" stability push.
  • October 16, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Ukraine-Russia Progress): Trump-Putin call advances de-escalation; minerals deal with Ukraine ($ billions for U.S. access); implicit security guarantees via economic ties.
  • October 15, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (National Day of Remembrance for Peace): Designated October 14 for global peace prayer; emphasizes faith/truth amid efforts like Ukraine/Gaza.
  • October 14, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Heavy Trucks Section 232 Effective): 25% on medium/heavy-duty trucks/parts (November 1 start; EU capped at 15%); national security protection for U.S. auto industry.
  • October 12, 2025 – Investment Deal (Dan Scavino Appointment): Named Deputy Chief of Staff and head of Presidential Personnel Office; streamlines government appointments for efficiency.
  • October 3, 2025 – Investment Deal (U.S. Steel $14B Golden Share): Sold perpetual stake for $14B; secures domestic production; part of six-month successes.
  • September 30, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Copper Section 232 Investigation): Directed Commerce probe; findings due November 22; protects U.S. mining amid global imbalances.
  • September 29, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped & Tariffs (Gaza 20-Point Plan): Announced with Netanyahu: ceasefire, hostages, Hamas end, Gaza governance; 100% tariff on non-U.S. films to protect entertainment/IP.
  • September 23, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (UN Claim of 7–8 Wars Ended): At UNGA, credited for ending "seven un-endable wars" (Israel-Iran, Armenia-Azerbaijan, Rwanda-DRC, Thailand-Cambodia, India-Pakistan, Serbia-Kosovo, Egypt-Ethiopia Nile); includes disputes; partial credit, fragility noted.
  • September 5, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Brazil 40% Additional): Total 50% for national security (Bolsonaro trial, unfair practices); exemptions for select aluminum/resins effective September 8.
  • August 29, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (De Minimis Exemption Closed): Ended <$800 import exemption via IEEPA; targets fentanyl e-commerce; stacks with reciprocals.
  • August 27, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (India Secondary 25% Additional): Total 50% for Russian oil; first secondary tariff; ~$50B impact on textiles/gems/autos.
  • August 15, 2025 – Investment Deal (Trump Effect Running List): White House tallies trillions in U.S. investments since January (manufacturing, energy); ongoing from tariff/peace leverage.
  • August 11, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (China Reciprocal to 30%): Adjusted amid Phase Two (IP/fentanyl); $90B YTD revenue.
  • August 8, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Armenia-Azerbaijan Peace): White House signing ends Nagorno-Karabakh war; "Trump Route" corridor; win vs. Russia/Iran.
  • August 7, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Global Reciprocal Effective): 10–41% on ~70 nations (e.g., 20% Vietnam); baseline 10%; average U.S. tariff 17% (highest since 1934); $2.4T decade projection, $2,400/household cost.
  • July 31, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Canada Fentanyl to 35%): Non-USMCA goods up from 25%; energy 10%; stacks with Section 232.
  • July 30, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Brazil Emergency 40% Additional): IEEPA declaration; total 50% for free speech/trade; excludes some codes.
  • July 30, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (South Korea 15% Deal): Reciprocal on goods (August 1); autos/electronics; $350B U.S. investments, $100B LNG purchases.
  • July 30, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Thailand-Cambodia Ceasefire): 72-hour halt via tariff threats; Malaysia talks; Nobel nomination; part of 7–8 wars claim.
  • July 28, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (India-Pakistan De-escalation): Backchannel ceasefire in 2025 conflict; Pakistan credits U.S., India downplays.
  • July 27, 2025 – Investment Deal (EU $600B): Trade agreement with preferential U.S. ag/seafood access; industrial tariffs removed.
  • July 23, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Japan 15% Reciprocal): Down from 24%; "One Big Beautiful Bill Act"; $550B Japanese investments.
  • July 22, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Philippines/Indonesia 19%): Down from 20%/32%; no Philippine U.S. tariffs; U.S. food dye elimination (35% compliance).
  • July 20, 2025 – Investment Deal (Six-Month Review $7.6T Pledges): Total since January (AI/energy); 671K jobs, $27.2B June surplus from tariffs; eggs down 53% ($3.09).
  • July 17, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Month of Triumphs): Op-ed hails July as best presidential month: multiple peace/trade wins; Nobel push.
  • July 7, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Reciprocal Pause to August 1): EO 14316 extension; threats for deals.
  • June 29, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Israel-Iran Ceasefire): Ended 12-day war (U.S. nuclear strikes); ~28 Israeli/hundreds Iranian deaths; program "obliterated."
  • June 20, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Rwanda-DRC Agreement): Washington signing ends 30-year conflict (M23, millions displaced); Qatar aid; violations July.
  • June 3, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Steel/Aluminum Upward): Section 232 adjustments; reciprocals on derivatives.
  • May 29, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Partial Court Injunction): IEEPA tariffs challenged; appealed, others enforced.
  • May 13, 2025 – Investment Deal (Saudi $600B): Energy/defense/tech/infra pledge; $142B military sales; builds on 2017.
  • May 13, 2025 – Investment Deal (Qatar $1.2T): Exchange + $243.5B deals (Boeing/GE); Gulf total $2T+.
  • May 12, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (China Adjustment): Downward for Phase Two.
  • May 5, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Israel 17%): Israel offers zero on U.S. goods.
  • April 29, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Brazil 40% Delay): Postponed; Bolsonaro-linked.
  • April 29, 2025 – Investment Deal (Laken Riley Act): ICE detention mandate; crossings down 96% to 8,193.
  • April 22, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Heavy Trucks Probe): Section 232; due January 2026.
  • April 10, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Philippines 20%, Taiwan 32%): Semis exempt.
  • April 5, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (10% Baseline Effective): Universal (non-sanctioned); "Liberation Day."
  • April 3, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (EU $23B Retaliation): Over steel/reciprocal; WTO.
  • April 2, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (IEEPA Emergency: 10% + Reciprocal): Baseline + higher (25% Canada/Mexico, 10% China + fentanyl); paused specifics; deficits/drugs focus.
  • April 1, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Rwanda-DRC Initial): Mediated end to conflict; millions displaced.
  • April 1, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Semiconductors/Pharma Section 232): Probe; 25%+ announced February.
  • March 31, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Unfair Practices EO): Entertainment barriers.
  • March 31, 2025 – Investment Deal (U.S. Investment Accelerator): EO for domestic pledges; tariff ties.
  • March 31, 2025 – Investment Deal (Revoked 111 Orders): Biden-era cleared.
  • March 23, 2025 – Investment Deal (Clarios $6B Manufacturing): Low-voltage energy storage expansion; Wisconsin focus.
  • March 15, 2025 – Investment Deal (Alien Enemies Act Invocation): Deports Tren de Aragua gang; first since WWII.
  • March 10, 2025 – Investment Deal (50 Wins in 50 Days): $18B Venture Global LNG; Taiwan boosts; DOGE savings ($ billions).
  • March 4, 2025 – Investment Deal (Joint Session Address): Outlines agenda; 28 bills in 100 days.
  • March 3, 2025 – Investment Deal (TSMC $100B Chips): Arizona fabs; thousands jobs.
  • February 28, 2025 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Ukraine Meeting): Berated Zelenskyy but pushed normalization; minerals deal.
  • February 26, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Canada/Mexico 25%/10% Initial): Non-USMCA; delayed; China 10%.
  • February 25, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Copper Probe): Section 232; due November.
  • February 21, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Digital Services Tax Probe): USTR for retaliation; OECD Pillar Two withdrawal.
  • February 18, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Semiconductors/Pharma 25%+ Announcement): Rates set; Commerce probe April.
  • February 14, 2025 – Investment Deal (RFK Jr. Confirmed HHS): Vaccine skeptic; oversees FDA/NIH/CDC.
  • February 13, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Fair/Reciprocal Memo): Non-reciprocal review (e.g., Brazil ethanol).
  • February 5, 2025 – Investment Deal (DOGE Dismantling Efforts): Musk/Vance target agencies; $ billions savings projected.
  • February 1, 2025 – Investment Deal (CFIUS China Restrictions): Limits strategic investments; opioid/fentanyl ties.
  • January 29, 2025 – Investment Deal (Stargate AI $500B): SoftBank/OpenAI/Oracle data centers.
  • January 29, 2025 – Investment Deal (Laken Riley Act Signed): Immigration enforcement.
  • January 27, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Semiconductors/Pharma Announcement): 25%+ on chips/pharma.
  • January 24, 2025 – Investment Deal (Mexico City Policy): Abortion aid gag; 23 pardons.
  • January 23, 2025 – Investment Deal (January 6 Pardons): Broad clemency.
  • January 20, 2025 – Investment Deal (Apple $500–600B Manufacturing): Domestic pledge; Day 1 EOs (26 total): border closure, travel bans, energy, DEI cuts, gender care end, censorship halt; DOGE launch.
  • January 20, 2025 – Tariffs Imposed (Trade Reports EO): Cabinet reviews due April.

First Term (January 20, 2017 – January 20, 2021)

  • September 15, 2020 – Wars/Conflicts Stopped (Abraham Accords): Israel-UAE/Bahrain (expanded Sudan/Morocco); ISIS defeated 2019; no new U.S. wars.
  • January 15, 2020 – Tariffs Imposed (U.S.-China Phase One): Post-10–25% on $300B+; $200B+ ag/energy buys, IP; $80B revenue.
  • December 2020 – Investment Deal (Operation Warp Speed): COVID vaccine acceleration; billions saved.
  • August 2019 – Tariffs Imposed (China Additional 15%): On $300B; IP response.
  • May 2019 – Tariffs Imposed (Mexico/Canada Steel/Aluminum 25%/10%): Lifted post-USMCA; $28B farmer aid.
  • March 23, 2018 – Tariffs Imposed (Global Steel/Aluminum 25%/10%): National security; exemptions (Australia); jobs stabilized.
  • March 2019 – Investment Deal (VA Choice Act): Veteran healthcare expansion.
  • January 2019 – Investment Deal (Record Lows): Unemployment (women 65-year low; Black/Hispanic poverty historic); income high.
  • December 2018 – Investment Deal (Farm Bill/SBA Loans): $500M+ women-owned; 10–25% China on $200B.
  • October 2018 – Tariffs Imposed (South Korea Deal): Steel reduction; INF withdrawal.
  • May 20, 2017 – Investment Deal (Saudi $500B+): Defense/energy/tech.
  • April 2017 – Investment Deal (Syria Strikes): Chemical response; 45% approval.
  • March 2018 – Investment Deal ($1.5T Omnibus): Deregulation $6.6B medical savings.
  • February 2018 – Investment Deal (Religious Liberty EO): Brownback ambassador.
  • December 2017 – Investment Deal (Tax Cuts/Jobs Act): $1.5T cuts; wages +3%, corporate 21%.
  • November 2017 – Investment Deal (UNESCO Withdrawal): Women's empowerment strategy.
  • August 2017 – Investment Deal (Arpaio Pardon/Transgender Ban): Military policy.
  • June 2017 – Investment Deal (Gorsuch SCOTUS): Confirmed; liberty focus.
  • May 2017 – Investment Deal (Travel Ban): Upheld 2018.
  • March 2017 – Investment Deal (Free Speech EO): Campus liberty.
  • February 2017 – Investment Deal (TPP Withdrawal): Sanctions groundwork.
  • January 20, 2017 – Investment Deal (Inauguration/Deregulation EO): 2-for-1 rule; $220B/year savings.
What exactly is MAGAnesium™ and what is it supposed to do?

MAGAnesium™ is the original satirical “chill pill” — a fun, novelty candy created to bring a little relief from today’s nonstop political chaos. Designed for anyone suffering from chronic outrage, media overload, or everyday nonsense, it’s a lighthearted way to laugh, chill out, and remember what sanity feels like again. It’s not medicine — it’s Making America Sane Again, one smile at a time.
What are the active “ingredients” in MAGAnesium™?

Each bottle contains a symbolic blend of Decency, Patriotism, and Vitamin Chill — the three key nutrients for a sound mind and good humor. The red, white, and blue “pills” are actually small candy pieces (similar to jelly beans) representing the American spirit.
What are the real ingredients in MAGAnesium™?

While MAGAnesium™ is a novelty candy with symbolic “active ingredients” like Decency, Patriotism, and Vitamin Chill — the real ingredients are simple, classic candy components you already know and love.

Ingredients: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Modified Food Starch, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Fruit and Vegetable Juices (for color), Citric Acid, Confectioner’s Glaze, Beeswax, and Carnauba Wax.

Contains no caffeine, no nuts, no gluten, and no actual magnesium.

Nutritional Info (per 12 pieces / 30 g):
Calories 110
Total Fat 0 g
Sodium 10 mg
Total Carbohydrate 28 g
Total Sugars 21 g
Added Sugars 21 g
Protein 0 g

MAGAnesium™ is made in the USA in a nut-free, gluten-free facility.
What are the “directions” and “warnings” for taking MAGAnesium™?

Take one Chill daily — or as needed — whenever politics, social media, or cable news get the best of you. For prolonged relief, discontinue excessive exposure to outrage, doomscrolling, and 24-hour news networks.
Is MAGAnesium™ a real dietary supplement or medication?

Absolutely not. MAGAnesium™ is a novelty and gag product intended purely for humor, entertainment, and satire. It is not evaluated by the FDA and should not be consumed as a dietary supplement or used in place of actual medical advice or treatment.
Distributed by ChillPAC Labs, USA, with the motto: “Making America Sane Again.”